In Touch With the Bonds of Friendship
Written by Betty Miller Buttram
FWIS Contributing Writer
Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing. Philippians 2:3-4.
I have often wondered about the difference between the meaning of friends and acquaintances. Who stays?
Friendship at times can become testing, but if friends are attached to each other by respect, esteem, intimacy, trust, and a mutual enduring affection for one another, friendships will survive, and the bond will remain.
An acquaintance is an individual who is aware of your present in their orbit because of the acquired knowledge, familiarity, understanding, and of the similarities in work and life experiences. You know them well enough but not well enough to be completely trusted. The great divider in most cases would be the borrowing and lending of money; that is just one example. Another example is to say something to that acquaintance that you think is helpful, but they find your advice hurtful. They become angry that you had the audacity to address a flaw in their behavior in a particular situation. It is all over. They moved themselves out of the orbit the two of you once shared, or so you thought, as friends. The realization becomes clear that some folks who at one time boasted themselves as your friend were just passing through the seasons in your life as an acquaintance. It is best to know who your friends are.
On this Good Friday, as I write this article, I have two sister-friends who each have a serious medical condition that will require surgery.
My sister-friend in Denver, Colorado and I have been friends since the fifth grade. We attended the same elementary school, different junior/senior high schools, but stayed connected because we attended the same church all through our childhood and youth. We have not lived in the same place or places for years. We have stayed connected throughout the years by telephone, the postal mail system, and occasional visits. I have not seen her since she journeyed to Fort Wayne to celebrate my birthday four years ago. We planned on my visiting her in Denver in 2020 for an extended visit, but COVID changed our plans.
My sister-friend in Silver Spring, Maryland and I have known each other since our mid-twenties. We met on the job as co-workers and our friendship bonded us and our growing families to each other. When her beloved mother passed away several years ago while I was here in Fort Wayne, I could not make it to the funeral. I called my son who lives in Maryland, and he attended. He said that when he offered his condolences, my sister-friend hugged him tightly and said, “I just love your mother.”
My two sister-friends are not happy campers of the Internet, Facetime, or other social media outlets. They read the newspapers, books, watch the news, favorite television programs, and listen to the radio. We are of that generation. Since we are of the same generation, it is mostly the telephone calls that have kept us in touch throughout the years. It was their recent phone calls that informed me of their medical situations. The only thing about my friendship with these special friends is that they have never met. They do not know about each other. The only thing they have in common is me.
One friend in the West; one friend in the South; and I in the Midwest. Their medical plights have caused me to reflect on the loving relationships that we have endured all these years.
I have two sister friends standing in need of prayer. My heart is heavy with emotional pain. Although I am not with them in person, I am in spirit. I have faith, hope, and love in Jesus Christ that all will be well with them. He has blessed me with the beauty of friendship.